Madonna to be Grandma, Dan Brown new book excerpt by Matt Rees

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MADONNA TO BE GRANDMA

Pop superstar Madonna is set to be a grandma, according to people familiar with reproduction. Though her daughter Lourdes is currently only 14 years old, reproductive specialists and experts on Catholic girls say the birth could come within as little as a decade. Fans of the 52-year-old Material Girl are sure to hit the blogosphere hard with speculation as to the potential father. Justin Bieber declined comment.

DAN BROWN NEW BOOK EXCERPT

Da Vinci Code fans will be among the thousands battering down the doors of the Staten Island Poetry Festival next week, when conspiracy king Dan Brown reads from his new book of haiku, “Autumn of the Albinos.” Brown gave “International Crime Authors” a sneak peak at some of the highlights of his new opus:

“The first cold rain

Robert Langdon, Professor of Religious Symbology at Harvard University,

Said ‘Where the hell am I?’ ”

And then this:

“The dark winter night

The cowering art curator whimpers

‘I’ll tell you what you want to know, please don’t hurt me.’ ”

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY HAS RARE FORM OF HERPES

British sex-bomb Keira Knightley may have an entirely undetectable form of herpes which is completely invisible and leaves no trace, even when cultures are studied under high-powered microscopes. Celeb blogs have been abuzz with talk that “The Duchess” star, known for her pure English rose looks, may be afflicted with what one STD expert described as a kind of herpes that essentially mimics the absence of herpes and is, in fact, not herpes. Other stars with a similar non-herpes herpes condition include raunchy Monty Python star Michael Palin, Batman, and Mickey Rooney. Though harmless in 100 percent of cases, non-herpes did lead to the death of beloved actor John Turturro, although Turturro isn’t dead.

BLOG INFORMATION ONLY 4 PERCENT TRUE, STUDY SHOWS

A study by the Arianna Huffington Center for Blog Studies at Blue State University finds that only 4 percent of information carried by blogs is “true.” The study also noted that only 20 percent of blogs include information, so that in fact only 1 percent of blog content is true. The study found no correlation between truth and the number of hits garnered by a blog post and noted that the 1 percent of truthful content was entirely ignored by all surfers. Nick Denton, founder of Gawker, said, “Well, duh,” though it couldn’t be ascertained if that was his true reaction.

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